My first time..

I've actually had some pretty crazy luck when it comes to purchasing anything deemed feminine. Doing so has always been something that's been one of my greatest fears, I'm always afraid people are watching me and judging me for it, so I've avoided going to a store like Zellers and buying whatever my heart desires, which is heartbreaking to say the least. However, there have been a few times recently where I actually worked up the courage to say "Fuck off with what you think of me!" and actually do what I want for a change, and the place I did that is most surprising of all. The retail store I work at does not sell clothing of any kind other than hunting (No thanks!) but when Halloween was drawing near we actually got in a really great selection of costumes, accessories, and even some makeup, albeit all pretty low quality considering.

The department I worked dealt a lot with this temporary setup so I spent a lot of time looking at all the items. And there were some really cheap stockings and pantyhose that always, always caught my eyes as I walked past them. It always kind of sucked when I noticed one of them get purchased, and I knew I would regret it if I let the opportunity slide! Needless to say, for several days I worked up not only methods of retrieving said items without anyone noticing, but also excuses as to why I would be purchasing them in the first place if the cashier noticed. Oh, I guess I should mention, the store I work at is blessed enough to have self checkouts, one of the primary reasons I think I was able to work up the courage to buy them in the first place, everywhere else in town would have still had the awkward interaction with a cashier as s/he rang the items up.

So, the stockings/pantyhose costed about 20 dollars in total I believe, and I ended up purchasing 50 dollars worth of items in my attempts to A) Keep said feminine items hidden in the red basket, B) If the cashier was looking, I could scan those items in first and hopefully s/he would look away and allow me time to 'sneakishly' scan the item in and make a clean getaway.

There I am, walking around aimlessly, keeping a weathered eye on the tills to see if all the customers have gone, and I see my chance! I quickly walk up and I swear, it was like somebody was watching over me at that moment, the cashier who was watching the self-checkouts walked away! It was like a wave of relief at that moment. I went up the farthest till and pressed start. And wouldn't you know it? The bloody machine froze. And of course, the self checkout attendant came back to her post, and fixed the machine. So I slowly started scanning my other items that I definitely did not need and just as I picked up the stockings she walked off again! I scanned everything as fast I could and threw them into the open bag. And of course, it just wouldn't be my luck if I didn't run into everyone I know on my way out, asking what I was buying, and one peeked in the bag too! Luckily nobody was the wiser, although I've always wondered if the cashier did know what I was buying but didn't care.

So that's my first experience, I know it wasn't buying much, and believe me, I had my eyes on some of the costumes we had for sale, but those would be really obvious, and I wish I had purchased them too. But I'm interested in hearing your story if you have one, about your first experience purchasing from a store! Was it good? Was it bad? Let me know! <3

Hello Blogging World!

Hello there, wonderful world of bloggers, as you may have already guessed from the big bold letters above this, my name is Stephanie. I've started up this blog in an attempt to share my experiences as I go through this crazy thing called life, being someone who is transgender presents a lot of unique challenges and experiences that I feel I need to at least write down somewhere, and better yet, share with people.This blog will pretty much range from any experiences I have related to being transgender, to just anything on my mind! (Which will probably involve a lot of Victoria Secret online catalogue entries, so I apologize in advance for that!) So, without further hesitation allow me to introduce myself!

Like I said, my name is Stephanie, and I'm transgender. I'm freshly 18, I turned so in September, and I live in small conservative town in Alberta, Canada. For the better part of my life I've always been very quiet and kept to myself as much as I could. Needless to say, school was one of the worse experiences of my life, I always felt very out of place and I had a very hard time making friends. This is probably why coming out as transgender is such a frightening task for me, and consequently only two people I actually know in real life know about it. One is my mother, which is another story for another day, and one is a boy who I barely know, and I ended up telling my real name over at myyearbook.com. Otherwise I'm pretty open about it online, and I've made some absolutely amazing friendships because of it, one with a girl who I know will always be there to support me and I doubt any progress I've made to this point would be possible without her help.

I promise entries after this one will be more humorous and hopefully more exciting, but the introduction always needs to get out the way first! I look forward to all comments and critiques!